What happens when a woman enters the hypermasculine world of heavy metal and is forced to confront not only exclusion, but trauma and violence? In Metal Music, Masculinity, and Mass Shootings, Deborah Kay Phillips offers a powerful autoethnographic account that weaves lived experience with cultural and gender theory to examine metal music scenes, gun culture, and toxic masculinity in North America. Drawing on her experiences as a cis woman navigating metal concerts and communities, Phillips critically engages academic research on gender and popular music while reflecting on her own search for belonging within a male-dominated cultural space. The narrative takes a harrowing turn as she confronts the psychological aftermath of witnessing a fatal shooting at a concert, exploring how performances of masculinity intersect with firearms, public violence, and fear. Through honest reflection and scholarly insight, the book traces her journey of coping with PTSD and the difficult act of returning to a space marked by both passion and trauma, ultimately offering a deeply human meditation on resilience, accountability, and cultural change. This book is ideal for students and scholars in gender studies, cultural and media studies, popular music and metal studies, sociology, and communication, as well as readers interested in gun culture, toxic masculinity, trauma, PTSD, and the social dynamics surrounding mass shootings at concerts.